Monday, November 5, 2007

The Biophysicist (say it with a lisp or don’t say it at all) gives out some free dating advice…

Lucky2bAlive: Hey – are you still in France?

TheBiophysicist: Umm...Hello. Yeah, still am.

Lucky2bAlive: I'm making you proud.

TheBiophysicist: Why? You finally gave up on women with Terrettes?

Lucky2bAlive: I had a date with a 27 y/o Latin chick.

Lucky2bAlive: ::Shakes fist::

TheBiophysicist: Congrats!

Lucky2bAlive: I know her through work.

TheBiophysicist: Anything "special" happen with her?

Lucky2bAlive: Yeah, she made it very clear to me that she wants to get into my pants.

TheBiophysicist: Did you feed her tacos or eat them from between her legs?

Lucky2bAlive: Neither. Both. I don’t know.

TheBiophysicist: Was there a two for 1 special on her bean burrito...Did she come with rice and beans or nachos?

Lucky2bAlive: Neither, but she was very forward in showing her interest in me, which, I’ll admit, caught me a bit off guard.

TheBiophysicist: Good...

Lucky2bAlive: There’s only one hitch… She has a kid.

TheBiophysicist: I was going to guess that…after all, she is Latin.

Lucky2bAlive: {Sigh}

Lucky2bAlive: I swear she said she's just looking for a good time. We know each other through work. She wants us to keep it on the d/l.

TheBiophysicist: Oh, so she’s ashamed of you.

Lucky2bAlive: No.

TheBiophysicist: You're not the Chipolte sauce in her enchilada?

Lucky2bAlive: She gets hit on by lots of Firefighters, and she finally said yes to one.

TheBiophysicist: What made her change her mind? Does she have trouble seeing? Or smelling?

Lucky2bAlive: I am not a normal firefighter. She's interested in my whole NY attitude and my non-Cuban treatment of women.

TheBiophysicist: When you say normal, you mean you didn‘t remove the hose before entering prison or the dick after?

Lucky2bAlive: But they (Cubans) have the wandering eye…either way, I found a Latin chick who wants to get in my pants.

TheBiophysicist: Well-done com-padre!

Lucky2bAlive: So, you’re still in France. When do you come back?

TheBiophysicist: Whenever I can swing my dick around my shoulder…

Lucky2bAlive: Cute. All right, give me a call when you get back.

TheBiophysicist: Try to get to second base before I get back.

Lucky2bAlive: She does have a huge rack. Nice ones…

TheBiophysicist: And from now on please refer to her privates as cheap Tex-mex food. Latin girls love that!

Lucky2bAlive: Um. No. Thanks for the advice though. I'm gonna just keep doing what I've been doing.

TheBiophysicist: Ah! A man with dignity and low expectations.

Lucky2bAlive: …and when she doesn't expect it, I’ll stick it in her ass!

TheBiophysicist: Good plan…keep it away from the baby hole.

Lucky2bAlive: I’ll just wrap it up and thrust, thrust, thrust...

TheBiophysicist: The baby hole is just like a bated fishing hook…

Lucky2bAlive: All right now, be safe. Don't get deported, arrested, or made into a man bitch.

TheBiophysicist: Once she has you...you're all but reeled in. Plus, abortion isn’t worthwhile, hangers just don’t give baby kebabs enough time to sweat out the fat.